By Hazel, Age 30
At 29 years old I made the personal decision to have my tubes removed. I know it’s an iffy subject as some women can’t get pregnant or have to go through horrible treatments to get help with it. But it taught me so much about the process and myself.
I’ve wanted them out since I was 22, I’ve known my entire life I don’t want children. Just a personal decision for myself that I just don’t have that maternal instinct to be a mother. Never have. So my OB told me when I turn 30 if I still wanted them out she’d do it.
So 29 came around and all the politics about women’s rights were heading in a scary direction and I was due for my annual visit to the OB, and I told her that I don’t want to end up with an accident and have to go to Mexico or somewhere crazy to get an abortion because MI healthcare wouldn’t allow it or something, you get my point.
So after a long discussion about it and hearing about risks and such I still made the appt to get them removed. They also asked me excessively if I was sure along the way to make sure I didn’t have any change of heart.
I’ve dated guys who really wanted kids and it ended one of my long term relationships because we didn’t feel the same about it. So my OB made sure to ask about my current relationship and if I’ve talked to him about it and I had. When I sat my partner down early in the relationship I made a big point to tell him I do not want children and if that is something he wants later in life then I’ll respect that but he has to respect my decision to remove that option. And at no point in our talks did he express it being an issue – we’re now coming up on our 2 year anniversary and it’s never been an issue.
Leading up to the appointment I learned that you can donate your tubes, or some hospitals will allow it. You can freeze your ovaries I believe as well? But the studies showed if some women aren’t sure they can freeze them and maybe put them back after so long, given if you do that your changes of pregnancy are much lower but it could work. Or you can donate them to someone who really wants kids but maybe doesn’t have the ability to due to medical reasons. Sadly I didn’t know you needed to prep all of this ahead of time, so when I walked into the hospital and was in a bed I asked my OB if I can donate them and she said it would’ve been a lot more involved with paperwork, meds, etc. so that wasn’t an option for me.
Every nurse and doctor while giving me IV meds and fluids asked if I was sure I wanted to do it and I always said yes. So I went into the operating room, they put me under, and I woke up tubeless. It took about a week or so to recover, lots of light walking, resting, etc. but I had them out July of 2022 and there isn’t a day that goes by that I regret or wonder if I made the wrong decision. I am still 100% certain that I did the right thing for me. And I’ve now had 2 of my friends who also don’t want kids get the procedure done. One is actually discussing it with her OB and will try to donate them if she can.
But I feel like the procedure or the act of removing them is so frowned upon that I wish I could tell more people my story and make them understand it’s not about anyone but them. I want to yell it from the rooftops that I had mine out and I don’t shy away from the subject if it comes up some how. But it’s such a bad thing if girls don’t have kids but why? we don’t have to do that. Society has told us we do when we don’t. But that’s a whole other topic.
Overall – I’m so glad I made this decision. And I wish I could educate and support other women going through it.
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